you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
