So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Porn is love you can see.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
