oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I am naked and annoyed.
A+ Viking dick
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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