I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Randomize
