woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I need to align my fucking chakras
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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