This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
