i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
