apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you mean i was at the winter classic?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
