I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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