Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
