My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
