Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize