went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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