he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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