it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
My breasts were aching with rage.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Dicks are not precious.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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