My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
