I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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