I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
