yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
