So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
