This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
