i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
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She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
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Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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