Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
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I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
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I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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