Plan B is the new Plan A
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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