After last night, I could never be a politician.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
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