My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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