it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
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