in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
