theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
