lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
