What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
