I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
