remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
