If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
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I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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