i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
