Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize
