Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
