you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
