it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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