I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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