i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Randomize
