My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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