i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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