You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Randomize
