I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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