R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize