I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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