So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
