I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Come on in and take your pants off
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