ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
