So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
