***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
