apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
