Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
