I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
