Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
my liver is dry heaving
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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