he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
