the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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