I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
