I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Randomize
