I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
